


Real Life, Not a Farce, Actual Boyfriend

by butterfly_wings



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Alternate Universe - College/University, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Fluff, Long-Suffering Tsukishima Kei, M/M, Miscommunication, Non-Linear Narrative, rated t for swearing alcohol and like one mention of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29616678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterfly_wings/pseuds/butterfly_wings
Summary: Tsukishima doesn’t even greet him as he slides into the chair opposite him. He drops his strawberry shortcake unceremoniously on the table and gives Akaashi a long look before sighing dramatically. “I cannot believe this,” he states, and Akaashi scowls as Tsukishima barrels on ahead with whatever it was that he wanted to say. “Why did you and Bokuto break up?”Akaashi stares. He looks around the room. Yes, he’s seated in a random conbini at two in morning, an umeboshi onigiri in front of him. His gaze flickers back to his dining companion, and yes, that is Tsukishima Kei, all 190 centimeters of him sitting in the seat opposite him.So what weird reality did he end up in, where he and Bokuto were apparentlydating?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 14
Kudos: 87
Collections: Haikyuu!! Valentine Exchange





	Real Life, Not a Farce, Actual Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kebbi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kebbi/gifts).



> hi Kebbi! here is your present! sorry it took me so long, but I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> thank you [roy](https://kanbayashis.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing! and thank u annabella for letting me freak out about this :,)

Tsukishima doesn’t even greet him as he slides into the chair opposite him. He drops his strawberry shortcake unceremoniously on the table and gives Akaashi a long look before sighing dramatically. “I cannot believe this,” he states, and Akaashi scowls as Tsukishima barrels on ahead with whatever it was that he wanted to say. “Why did you and Bokuto break up?” 

Akaashi blinks. The onigiri that he was about to eat falls back into the box. He blinks again, because there’s no way he heard that properly.

“I’m sorry?” he says after a moment. “I think I misheard you.” 

“Why. Did you. And Bokuto. Break up,” Tsukishima asks, each word coming out clearly and almost over-enunciated. “You did not mishear me.” 

Akaashi stares. He looks around the room. Yes, he’s seated in a random conbini at two in morning, an umeboshi onigiri in front of him. His gaze flickers back to his dining companion, and yes, that is Tsukishima Kei, all 190 centimeters of him sitting in the seat opposite him. 

So what weird reality did he end up in, where he and Bokuto were apparently _dating_? 

“We’re not dating?” Akaashi says finally. He wonders why that came out as a question. 

“Bullshit. You two are disgusting.” 

“How…” Akaashi feels faint. “How long have we been dating?” 

“Since the party where Kuroo locked you two in a closet,” Tsukishima responds. “At least, that’s what I thought.” 

Akaashi doesn’t say anything, rendered completely incapable of speech by Tsukishima’s declaration. He stares out into nothingness, trying to process this new piece of information. Tsukishima is still talking, but Akaashi doesn’t hear any of it. Finally, he gathers enough of his wits to whisper, “Have we really?” 

“Oh my god,” Tsukishima says. He takes a bite of his cake as if it will save him. “Oh my fucking god.” 

Kuroo Tetsurou comes up to Akaashi with peach soju in his hand and a grin on his face that can only mean trouble. “So good of you to make it, Akaashi,” he drawls, smirking. “How are you doing?” 

“Cut the crap,” Akaashi tells him. “I’ve been here for an hour already, and we’ve already talked.” 

Kuroo waves his hand and fakes a dramatic sigh. “So rude,” he says. “I thought we were friends.” 

“We are, which is how I know that you’re up to something.” 

Kuroo actually laughs at that. “Okay, well, I’ll take it. But it’s nothing bad, promise. I need your help for something, so come with me, please?” 

“Fine.” Akaashi follows Kuroo through the living room and to a narrow hallway. “What did you need?” 

“Uhhh,” says Kuroo, rather intelligently. Akaashi’s suspicions only increase. Whatever Kuroo is up to cannot be good. “I needed–oh, Tsukki!” 

“You needed Tsukishima?” Akaashi asks, but his words fall on deaf ears. Tsukishima walks over to them, a scowl adorning his face and Bokuto in tow. 

“Hello,” he says flatly. 

“You wanted to see me?” Bokuto asks. “What is it? Because I was this close to getting Daichi to help me see if we could climb onto the roof from the balcony, and I think Suga was going to join us.” 

“It’s very important, bro, I promise,” Kuroo says. He swings an arm over Akaashi’s shoulders and grins. “We just, uh…” 

“This is stupid,” Tsukishima says. He reaches out, swings open the narrow supply closet door that Akaashi hadn’t noticed earlier, and shoves Bokuto inside. Akaashi doesn't get a chance to react before Kuroo shoves him in as well, sending him stumbling into Bokuto's arms. He sees Bokuto's surprised face looking down at him, before the door slams shut, leaving them in darkness.

“Kuroo stuck a chair under the door.” Tsukishima’s voice floats cooly from outside. “He says that you guys are stuck there until you figure your shit out. He also says please don’t fuck in the supply closet.” There’s a brief pause, and then Tsukishima adds, “Although, if you want to defile his closet, you absolutely should. This was all his idea, by the way. Make him suffer.” 

“Tsukki!” Kuroo exclaims. “Don’t throw me under the bus like that!” 

“It was your idea, though,” Tsukishima replies, before their voices vanish, leaving Akaashi uncomfortably close to Bokuto. 

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says. His voice comes out shaky, and his tongue feels thick. He swallows and pushes through it. “Bokuto-san, would you mind...letting go of me?” 

“Are you okay?” Bokuto asks. He does not release him like he had asked. Instead, Bokuto’s arms remain very firmly wrapped around him. 

“I’m perfectly fine, just annoyed by this.” Akaashi forces himself to straighten, although Bokuto still hasn’t released him. His arms are burning around his waist. “I’m going to murder that pain in the ass Kuroo when I get out.” 

“That’s illegal.” 

“Locking your friends in closets should be illegal too.” 

“Come on, Akaashi, it’s not that bad,” Bokuto says, a slight whine creeping into his voice. “I mean, really. We’ll be out soon, plus Tsukki told us we should make Kuroo suffer!” 

“We are not doing anything in this closet, even though Kuroo definitely deserves to suffer,” Akaashi says. He might have a crush on Bokuto (confidential information, no one–and he means _no one_ –needs to know) but that doesn’t mean that he’s going to do things just because Bokuto asked him to. 

“Not what I meant,” Bokuto says. “I was just thinking, well, maybe we could go out together? Maybe? And if you want Kuroo to suffer, we could just make out then, since we’d be boyfriends, and do all sorts of things that couples do, and…” He keeps rambling, but Akaashi has short-circuited and the only thing playing on loop in his brain is _“if you want Kuroo to suffer, we could just make out then, since we’d be boyfriends”_ which, okay. 

Making out with Bokuto would be...more than ideal, honestly.

“Wait, so you want to date to be mushy in front of Kuroo?” he asks. 

“...yes?” 

Akaashi closes his eyes. Thinks of Kuroo, who complains about his singleness. Thinks of Bokuto and the way he still hasn’t let go of Akaashi. Thinks of getting to kiss Bokuto even though it would just be to annoy Kuroo. 

It would be the worst idea ever. But Bokuto’s arms are warm around Akaashi, his breath is soft against Akaashi’s cheek, and Akaashi’s always been completely and utterly weak for him.

So he says, “Yes.”

“Okay, but when I said make him suffer, I meant give each other bad hand jobs in his closet, not _pretend to date_ ,” Tsukishima says, annoyance dripping from his voice as he stabs his fork into the cake. “You understand the difference, right?”

“Clearly not,” Akaashi snaps. He wonders if he can order more food, solely for the chance to escape this absolutely wild conversation. “I’m blaming you and Kuroo for this.” 

“And how could you possibly think that Bokuto would want to fake date you?” Tsukishima demands. “He adores you!” 

“Yes, I’m his best friend,” Akaashi says. “And his s-owl-mate, and whatever else he’s come up with.” 

Tsukishima stares at him like he’s just now learning that Akaashi is not, in fact, Akaashi Keiji, but rather someone else. It’s the facial expression he usually reserves for whenever Hinata and Kageyama are doing something especially stupid, or when Lev has said something so completely wild that everyone could feel braincells leaving their body.

“You don’t think Bokuto likes you.” 

“Not romantically, if that’s what you’re implying.” 

“Why me?” Tsukishima asks, and Akasashi just shrugs. “Akaashi, are you blind?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He brings you coffee all the time,” Tsukishima says, listing things on his fingers. “He carries things for you. You’re literally wearing his jacket right now.” Akaashi flinches at that one, the stark reminder that he’d sprinted off without removing Bokuto’s jacket thrown in his face. He shifts to pull it off, but Tsukishima’s glare pins him in place. “And don’t take it off. He literally lights up whenever he sees you, and you two go on dates, like, all the time. Hell, he gives you fucking forehead kisses. And hand kisses.” 

“But that’s…” Akaashi feels faint. Have they really been dating this whole time? “I thought it was fake.” 

“Surely he doesn’t suddenly stop being all touchy-feely the instant you’re alone,” Tsukishima replies. “Name one instance when Bokuto wasn’t literally begging for your attention.” 

“Akaashi.” 

Akaashi doesn’t look up, too engrossed in writing his analysis paper. Which page did the point of view shift? Which speech was it in again? He needs it, now.

“Akaashi.” 

His paper is due in three days, and he can’t afford to fail. This has to be one of the best papers he’s ever written. The argument has to be airtight. He’s sure that the word switch is around here somewhere; he was so sure that he’d highlighted it. 

“Aghaaaaashi.” 

Akaashi closes his eyes and rubs at his forehead. “Bokuto-san, I’m trying to study.” 

“You’ve been sitting in darkness for an hour.” 

Sure enough, when Akaashi lifts his head, the only light in the room is from the lamp and his computer screen. Bokuto is leaning against the wall, shrouded in the darkness. Akaashi can barely make out his shape. When had it gotten so dark? 

“That’s bad for your eyes. My sisters tell me that, like, all the time.” 

“Why didn’t you turn on some light?” Akaashi asks. His eyes do hurt, actually, and so does his back, he realizes. But he needs to finish this paper tonight, so that he has enough time to go back and fix all the errors and work on polishing it. So much of his grade is dependent on getting this paper done well.

“Have you eaten?” Bokuto asks instead, ignoring Akaashi’s question. 

Akaashi pauses. Now that Bokuto’s mentioned it, he doesn’t think that he’s eaten anything since the plain onigiri he’d scarfed down for breakfast. 

“No.” 

“That’s not healthy,” Bokuto says. “You’ll study better if you eat something. Come on, I want to get yakiniku.” 

“You always want to get yakiniku. It’s your favorite.” 

“And you haven’t eaten. It’s a win-win situation.” Bokuto holds out his hand, and Akaashi slowly stands up. His legs feel like jelly; his head stuffed with cotton. It takes everything in him not to fall over. 

Okay. He really could use a break. At the very least, fresh air will do him some good. 

“Fine.” Akaashi reaches out and grabs Bokuto’s outstretched hand. “Where are we going?” 

Bokuto beams and tugs him out of the room. “The first place we can get seats at, because you looked like you were about to faint! I got you a jacket; it’s cold out.” He snatches up a jacket and drapes it over Akaashi’s shoulders before continuing to lead him outside. The cold air bites at Akaashi’s arms and he frowns. 

“Bokuto-san, you have to let go of me so I can put on the jacket,” Akaashi points out. 

“Oh, right.” Bokuto releases Akaashi’s hand. Akaashi pulls his jacket on, before offering his hand back to Bokuto. Bokuto takes it immediately and lifts his hand up to press a soft kiss against Akaashi’s knuckles. 

Akaashi’s face burns. 

“Come on,” Bokuto says, as if he hadn’t just kissed Akaashi’s hand for no reason. He swings their still-intertwined hands between them and beams. “Let’s get some food in you!” 

“Let me guess: he paid.” 

“...yes, actually.” 

Tsukishima slumps back in his chair. “Haven’t you noticed that he almost always pays for you?” 

Akaashi frowns. If he remembers correctly, Bokuto has paid for nearly every meal they’ve gotten together. 

This was a thing that occurred before they got locked in Kuroo’s closet, but it had definitely increased in frequency since then. Or maybe they’d simply gotten more meals together, whether it was with friends, like that time with Shirabu and Semi, or just the two of them…

Wait. 

“Have we actually been dating this entire time?” Akaashi asks, and Tsukishima’s subsequent facepalm is so loud that Akaashi is suddenly grateful for the absurdly late hour. 

“Akaashi, want to get ice cream with me?” Bokuto asks as they leave the library together. 

Akaashi’s brain is still full of metaphors and subtext and the surprising intricacies of old poetry, as well as the inherent queerness of it all. But Bokuto is looking at him with such expectation that Akaashi doesn’t have the heart to admit that he has no idea what he just asked him to do. 

“...why not?” Akaashi asks, and hopes that that’s the right answer. 

“Really?! You always say that it’s not good to eat this late!” Bokuto laughs, and Akaashi decides that he doesn’t care about whatever it is that he just agreed to. “Alright, my treat! Come on!” 

Bokuto’s warm, calloused hand closes around his and then he’s leading Akaashi away from the library and into a small ice cream parlor. There’s no other customers when they enter, given the late hour. 

Oops, Akaashi thinks. It is a little late for ice cream. 

But Bokuto looks so happy, practically bouncing as he makes his way to the person behind the counter, that Akaashi decides to let it slide. 

“Semi semi!” Bokuto exclaims. “I didn’t know you worked here!” 

“You never asked,” Semi says. “Hello, Akaashi. What do you guys want?” 

“I want chocolate, and Akaashi will have matcha,” Bokuto says. Akaashi blinks. He hadn’t even said anything, yet Bokuto just...knew. 

Semi just nods and prepares their ice cream, sliding them over the counter when done. Before Akaashi can say anything, Bokuto is slapping down some money and handing Akaashi his cup of matcha ice cream. 

“Thanks, Semi!” Bokuto says cheerfully. “I’ll see you around!” 

“You should join me and Shirabu for lunch some time,” Semi says. 

“Of course!” Bokuto’s eyes light up. “We’d love to! When are you free?” 

“Saturday?” Semi suggests, leaning forward to rest his arms on the counter. “Shirabu’s free then.” 

“That should be good! Right, Akaashi?” Bokuto turns to him. “You don’t have anything planned for that day, and you don’t have anything major due Monday, so we can join them?” 

Akaashi stares. Everything Bokuto said was right, but Akaashi hadn’t realized that Bokuto knew all of that. 

Bokuto and Semi are staring at him expectantly, and Akaashi realizes that he’s been quiet for too long. “Oh, yes,” he says, nodding. “That’s...that sounds nice.” 

“See you then!” Semi says, grinning. “Have a good night, you two!” 

Akaashi waves as Bokuto leads them out of the shop and back into the night. Then he looks down at his ice cream and smiles. 

He hadn’t realized that Bokuto knew so much about him. Even his schedule was something that Bokuto just knew, right off the bat. Beside him, Bokuto is happily eating his own ice cream, launching into a story involving him, Kuroo, and a stray cat. Akaashi takes a bite of ice cream and smiles. 

Right there, Akaashi realizes that he loves him. 

Shame. It's not permanent, and Akaashi needs to remember that, before it's too late. Although, as he lets Bokuto's voice wash over him, he thinks that maybe, it could be.

“Did you actually get lunch with Semi and Shirabu?” Tsukishima asks. 

“Yes.” 

“You do realize, then, that was a double date, right?” 

“I know that now,” Akaashi grumbles. The lunch in question had been very...date-like. Hell, Semi and Shirabu had been dating for a while, and Akaashi knew that. 

How did he not realize that he’d basically gone on a double date? 

He looks down at his onigiri, as if it would tell him the answers to his dilemma. About two bites remain, the pickled plum still safely embedded in the rice. The onigiri, of course, doesn’t tell him anything. He looks back up at Tsukishima and frowns. “Have we seriously been dating this entire time?” 

Tsukishima’s yes is so emphatic that Akaashi almost feels bad. He takes another bite of the umeboshi onigiri, savoring the salt as he does, considering the past events again. 

“So...Bokuto thinks we broke up,” he surmises. “Wait. He thought we were dating, too?” 

“I never thought I’d say this, but I actually feel terrible for Bokuto right now,” Tsukishima says. “I cannot imagine his pain.” 

“Bokuto’s my boyfriend,” Akaashi breathes, the realization hitting him again. He and Bokuto have been dating. They go out together. They hold hands and Bokuto buys him food and kisses his hands and tells him that he’s pretty. They even went on that double date with Shirabu and Semi. 

Bokuto is his boyfriend. 

His real life, not a farce, actual boyfriend. 

“Congratulations,” Tsukishima says wryly. “You’re officially the last to know.” 

“I have to find him,” Akaashi says. He shoves the bite of onigiri in his mouth and stands up. “Where is he?” 

“He was with Kuroo, last I checked,” Tsukishima tells him. “Want me to come with?” 

“Please.” 

“Okay.” Tsukishima sighs. “But we need to pick up some yakisoba. Kuroo will be pissed if we don’t get some for him.” 

Akaashi sighs. “I’ll get a bun for Bokuto-san, too.” 

“Akaashi, come to my place,” Bokuto says. “It’s late, and you shouldn’t be going home alone.” 

“It’s not that far,” Akaashi protests. 

“My place is closer.” Bokuto drapes his jacket over Akaashi’s shoulders, and Akaashi unthinkingly slides his arms into the sleeves and lets Bokuto zip it up. “Besides, you’ve been at the library for too long, and you’re not even adequately dressed to go home in this weather.” 

“It’s not a big deal. But thank you for the jacket.” 

“I can’t let you freeze, can I?” Bokuto asks. “Let’s go.” 

The walk out of the library is quiet. It’s dark and quiet outside, with nothing but the stars to keep them company. 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto says softly. “Can I tell you something?” 

“What is it?” 

“I...I love you.” 

Akaashi freezes. “No you don’t,” he says. “This was just to annoy Kuroo, remember?”

“No it wasn’t!” Bokuto declares. “I love you! And I know that I do!” 

“You’re confused,” Akaashi replies. “You don’t.” His hands are shaking. “You can’t. This isn’t real.” 

“But-”

“But nothing.” Akaashi stares at his hands. “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t?” Bokuto asks, his voice small, his hair drooping. 

Akaashi suddenly feels very, very tired. “I’m going home,” he says flatly. “Thank you for your offer, but I don’t want to be with you right now.” 

And then he runs, determined to forget the way Bokuto’s voice had sounded when he said “I love you”. 

“Come on,” Tsukishima says, practically dragging Akaashi up to Kuroo and Bokuto’s shared apartment. “I did not go through all this effort for you to chicken out now.” 

“What if he hates me?” Akaashi asks. “I broke his heart.” 

“Now you’re being dramatic.” Tsukishima bangs on the door with his fist. Akaashi turns to walk away, but Tsukishima catches him easily. “Will you chill out? You’ve even brought him a peace offering. He adores you.” 

“I didn’t realize that we were dating,” Akaashi laments. “We should–” 

Before he can continue, the door swings open, revealing the very familiar face of one Kuroo Tetsurou. His normally messy hair is wilder than normal and his eyes are wide. 

“Oh, good, you found him,” Kuroo says. “If anyone could fix this, I knew it’d be you.” 

Tsukishima shrugs. “I didn’t do anything,” he replies. “Where’s Bokuto?” 

“In his room.” Kuroo nods at Akaashi. “I promise that he’s doing okay.” 

Akaashi nods stiffly, marching down to Bokuto’s room. He reaches out to knock, but stops.

What if Bokuto doesn’t want to see him? 

He shakes his head. At the very least, he has to return Bokuto’s jacket to him (he can’t believe that he’s still wearing it). And give him the meat buns he grabbed from the conbini. 

He takes a deep breath, and knocks.

“Come in,” Bokuto calls sadly. Akaashi opens the door and slips inside, shutting the door softly behind him. 

There’s a blanket lump on his bed, and Akaashi quietly sits down next to it. He fiddles with his fingers, pushing the skin of his knuckles up for a few moments as he tries to figure out what to say. 

“Were we dating?” Akaashi asks softly. 

The blanket lump shifts a little. “I thought we were.” Bokuto’s voice comes out small and fragile, as he’s made of spun glass and is about to break. “But if we weren’t, uh, well. I understand.” 

Akaashi looks at the blanket lump. “Tsukishima told me that I was the last to know. That we were dating, I mean.” 

Bokuto doesn’t say anything, so Akaashi takes it as tacit permission to continue. 

“He said that we’d been dating ever since we got locked in the closet,” Akaashi says. “I hadn’t...hadn’t realized.” 

He stretches out his fingers and frowns. What should he say next? How do people do this? 

“You’ve taken really good care of me,” is what he settles on. “I’m sorry that I didn’t notice.” 

Bokuto’s head finally pokes out from under the covers. His golden eyes are watery and his lip trembles. Akaashi wants to wipe the tears away and kiss him until his mouth forgets the shape of a frown. But instead he waits for Bokuto to say something. 

“Did you mean it?” Bokuto asks after a moment of silence. “That it meant nothing?” 

Akaashi bites his lip. Twists his fingers. Looks at the meat buns and then back at Bokuto’s face. He thinks about Bokuto giving him his jacket and shared laughter and Bokuto telling him that he needs to eat and the way Bokuto’s hand feels against his. 

He wonders how it could have taken him so long to notice. They really had been dating, this whole time, hadn’t they? 

“If it were to mean something,” Akaashi says, the words coming out much lighter than he expected. After carrying his feelings for so long, it’s a relief to set them free. “Then...I wouldn’t be opposed.” 

“So we’re boyfriends?” Bokuto asks. “And...it’s okay that I love you?” 

“Yes,” Akaashi blurts out. “Yes. It’s okay. In fact…” He bites the inside of his cheek. “I think I might love you too.” 

Bokuto shoots up, blankets still draped over his shoulders. “Can I kiss you?” he asks. “Since we’re boyfriends?” 

Akaashi can’t help the smile that creeps over his face. “I’d like that very much, Bokuto-san,” he says. 

Bokuto tastes like tears, but he kisses Akaashi like he’s something precious, cradling his face like he’s afraid that Akaashi will break. For someone so exuberant, he’s surprisingly gentle. His lips find Akaashi’s, and the kiss is softer than Akaashi had expected.

Bokuto presses their foreheads together and smiles. 

“I love you, Akaashi,” he says. 

Akaashi smiles back. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> btw i firmly believe that bokuaka made out in front of kuroo like. once. and then never did it again and yet somehow akaashi still never put two and two together. he just looks like he has his shit together okay he's a total disaster. 
> 
> tsukishima doesn't get paid enough to deal with this shit. he needs a raise. or better friends. you decide. 
> 
> thank you for reading!! 
> 
> [tumblr](https://itachiyamaas.tumblr.com/)


End file.
